Lima beans, Brussels sprouts, Cabbage, Bok choy, Kale, Peas, Corn, Peppers and most strongly of all... Beets! How would have thought. So in conclusion:
Take that Mom!
Monday, September 15, 2014
Beets.
I think my taste buds are going through a very late rebellious stage against my mother and her cooking. I have discovered over the last few years that I adore all the foods she could not get me to eat when I was young.
Lima beans, Brussels sprouts, Cabbage, Bok choy, Kale, Peas, Corn, Peppers and most strongly of all... Beets! How would have thought. So in conclusion:
Take that Mom!
Lima beans, Brussels sprouts, Cabbage, Bok choy, Kale, Peas, Corn, Peppers and most strongly of all... Beets! How would have thought. So in conclusion:
Take that Mom!
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Time Keeps On Ticking.
Angst - I find the word to be quite comical but over the last few months (if not the majority of my young adult & adult life) it has also been good word for describing myself. Its amazing how I and many adults are still asking themselves, "What do I want to be when I grow up?" And then there is that rock in your stomach where you realize, even though you subconsciously were avoiding it, that you indeed have 'grown up'... well shit.
Looks like I didn't grow up to be a Ninja Turtle, Rainbow Brite, an X-Man - nor did I become one of Peter Pan's lost boys. As you can see, most of my childhood future goals to be were fictional males... and usually from some classic gems from the 80's and 90's. But seriously, who wouldn't want to grow up to be a naked mutant ninja who fought crime and ate pizza all day?
I may have majorly hindered myself growing up, my goals and hopes were always so unrealisically based. I feel like a large majority of my young life was spent in my own head rather then having any interaction with the disappointing real world I inhabited. In fact, I know it was. My father was also always reminding me that 'my head was always up in the clouds'... except he would use a less politically correct expression. And as a young child this was actually a benefit, I remember friends frequently and excitedly would ask me create and narrate our games of 'pretend'. But there came a day where these games of 'pretend' were only appropriate for table top games and the occasional bedroom situations. ;)
In an attempt to get out of my existential funk, I am hoping to get back into making my polymer clay jewelry and figurines. Perhaps, if feasible, even creating an Etsy shop. It would be fun and maybe even a productive side project. Plus it would feel very rewarding to have a job where I actually take pride in my work again, not to mention it would be great to have hands-on projects again. I rarely feel appreciated in my current job and I miss the satisfaction of creating something with your own hands.
In an additional attempt to distract myself from my emotional rut, I have been trying to get back into drawing. Re-teaching myself all the old art methods I used to love. I used to draw and write daily, it really seems a shame that I let it fall to the wayside.
Hopefully getting back into those older more creative habits will end up being more productive then my current time waster and addiction... Minecraft. In fact MMORPGS and most RPGs in general are a giant irresistible time suck for me. Which has been a great way to zone out and de-stress but I've definitely taken it a step too far. Sometimes even by passing up my workouts for more game time resulting in a repetative zombie like trance.
Perhaps there is a connection to my being an introvert and my need to always allocate time to do absolutely nothing of importance or responsiblity. I don't think I will ever break free of this habit but I need to manage it much more efficiently.
To start, I have given myself a task of drawing or writing once a day. I'm also taking baby inquiry steps toward the skills I may be require to obtain in order to get a art related job. Even more tricky, I hope down the road I could find one that could actually pay me a living wage. At this point in my thought process - is wear the angst hits me. There are SO many artistic people out there. Well connected, trained, technologically savvy artists too. How could I possibly hope to successfully compete with these people?
So much of it is terrifyingly unknown to me but one thing I know for sure. I cannot keep going down the career path I am currently going. The anger and pure dissatisfaction I feel at my current position amazes me. The level of bitchiness I have to exude just to communicate and perform my daily responsibilities, disgusts me. I have always considered myself to be a patient person until this job. My patience is shattered and try as I might, I cannot pull it back together again. In short; I hate who I am when I am at work. And some of it is personal which I need to address on my own but I know if I continue doing these office jobs, I won't be the person I aim to be.
The video games I play may make me happy but they have also evolved into an addictive escape from my confrontations. I love and get very involved with my drawings and art projects.
My partner is right, every moment I spend doing nothing is a moment wasted. I need to fill these moments with things that in the very least make me feel happy and fulfilled.
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| (1960) Mary Martin, my favorite Peter. |
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| TMNT (1990) |
I may have majorly hindered myself growing up, my goals and hopes were always so unrealisically based. I feel like a large majority of my young life was spent in my own head rather then having any interaction with the disappointing real world I inhabited. In fact, I know it was. My father was also always reminding me that 'my head was always up in the clouds'... except he would use a less politically correct expression. And as a young child this was actually a benefit, I remember friends frequently and excitedly would ask me create and narrate our games of 'pretend'. But there came a day where these games of 'pretend' were only appropriate for table top games and the occasional bedroom situations. ;)
 |
| Octodoodle by moi. |
In an additional attempt to distract myself from my emotional rut, I have been trying to get back into drawing. Re-teaching myself all the old art methods I used to love. I used to draw and write daily, it really seems a shame that I let it fall to the wayside.
 |
| Photo credit: addiction Minecraft by GodXRay, Deviant Art |
Perhaps there is a connection to my being an introvert and my need to always allocate time to do absolutely nothing of importance or responsiblity. I don't think I will ever break free of this habit but I need to manage it much more efficiently.
 |
| Bubblegum by moi. |
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| Hawaii Sunset by moi. |
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| Lady Noveau by moi. |
The video games I play may make me happy but they have also evolved into an addictive escape from my confrontations. I love and get very involved with my drawings and art projects.
My partner is right, every moment I spend doing nothing is a moment wasted. I need to fill these moments with things that in the very least make me feel happy and fulfilled.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Babies. And That Other Scary Life Stuff.
A small exchange of words with an old friend of mine recently has been really eating away at me. A large number of my friends are at that fun stage where they are having children, a few even are on their second round of having a baby, this particular friend included. I'm so delighted for them all! What has been bugging me is the fact that during our conversation about the wonderful upsides of her having offspring, I said something off hand along the lines of "When I have kids..." To which she replied in surprise: "But I didn't think you wanted kids!"
When I told her I indeed did and asked her what gave her that impression, it wasn't due to the fact that my words or action toward kids had given her that idea. In that area it is usually quite clear, I adore kids. When I see someone with a baby, I want to hold that baby, poke its cheeks, ask the parent a million questions and make funny faces at the baby. I even worked with kids for many years.
To her, it was the fact that my boyfriend and I had been together for 'so long' (in her words) and still were not 'settled down' and had kids 'by now'. She fervently urged me to hurry up, tie the knot and start making babies. And this isn't the first time a friend or family member has reacted that way to my current life situation. Each time, I smile politely but inwardly I want to scream a big "F*** You! Don't know assume just because I am not mimicking your own life that I don't have plans for mine." especially when they use the term, 'by now'.
I'm twenty seven years old, I am not ancient. I will not lose my ability to have a child or to be eligible for marriage at age thirty. So if you say 'by now', I assume you just mean 'with me' as if you want everyone to be in sync with your life time table.
Additionally in regards to my age; I still feel so much like a kid myself... I don't even know what I want to do for a career. What if I do end up being a stay-at-home mother? I'd go crazy if I didn't have something else in my life to define me.
Not that I have anything against stay-at-home mothers and fathers, its a tough, admirable and unstructured job. I do however get very erked by women who believe their sole purpose in life is to be a mother. A few moms I know, I love them, I sympathize with their driving maternal instincts truly but these women scare me sometimes. What example are we as mothers for our daughters, if we can't teach them by example to live for more then procreation purposes? What example are we as mothers for our sons, if we teach them by our example that the partner that has loves and drives outside of being a parent is not to be trusted or needs to be corrected/changed?
The reason I am happy with taking it easy in regards to 'settling down' is because there are so many things I am (currently and will be in the future) passionate about. I have new expectations and romantic ideals planned for my life developing all the time. Getting married and having kids are certainly on that agenda but there is so much more then that. For starters, wanting my significant other to be just as excited about those things as I am. Its so unbelievably important to me that my S.O. choosing to marry me isn't just out of a socially engrained sense of responsibility. Being polyamorous is another example... I'm still enjoying that addition to my life and a bit hesitant on how kids would even fit into that picture. I want to do something for a living that feels productive and know I am not just being paid to be a present cogs in a poorly maintained machine. Or even trivial things... I want to see fireflies, go skydiving or skinny dip in Bora Bora before I die.
I have also been at the other side of the spectrum. When I was 17, I became pregnant. Before then (as well as after), I wanted to be full-time mom and get married ASAP. I really thought that was my purpose in life. That I was not a true woman without a husband to take care of me and not a complete human being until I had my 2.5 kids. So many events and life changes have altered my point of view drastically and hopefully, for the better.
I can only speak for myself but my previous desire to be a mother and 1950's style wife was more grounded in a lack of self-worth and self-understanding. I had no real goals for my life and my parents were not the worst but certainly not positive examples. My self help, self esteem and social skills were severely lacking making me a very scared and confused adolescent. After grade school, friendships did not last for the long term and usually the bonds that stuck were with males. So the closest thing to a female role model usually ended up being my romantic partners which only confused the situation more. With all of the factors combined, I truly believed I was broken and simply existed as a drain on society.
But I was certain of one thing; I loved kids. I would volunteer to babysit constantly, I loved any teaching opportunities that arose; I was fascinated by children. I often worked with special needs children and provide daycare for the children within our church. That much has never changed. I am a very maternal person by nature, I am constantly mothering my friends (and boyfriends) when they honestly just need a swift kick in the pants. And a lot of people are. Who doesn't like being needed? And maybe, just maybe, if I could be good at being a mother I wouldn't be/feel so useless.
As I said before, many things have happened to drastically alter my perception on well... everything! It wasn't instant and it was by no means painless. And I am reminded of how incredibly thankful I am for the few people in my life who kept with me or helped me start to discover who I really want to be.
All of this is basically boils down to a lost internet plea to all of the mothers in my friend circle, to all of my friends and family who may not have fully thought out there statements before saying them aloud and maybe to myself just a bit. I can't be angry at you when you expect me to live my life according to the socially predominant time table you may (or may not) be living by and I can't fault you when you are confused by my choices. My old self would have been perplexed too. But if you think your situation has made you wiser then I, Stop! Stop putting expectations on me, stop using your own life as a basis of how and when others should lead their own lives.
Most of all, ladies, please please please stop and remember you are a mother, and in many cases wives too; which is beautiful and you deserve to be so damn proud of it! But that is not the only thing you are and it absolutely is not how you should measure your own or anyone else's self-worth.
When I told her I indeed did and asked her what gave her that impression, it wasn't due to the fact that my words or action toward kids had given her that idea. In that area it is usually quite clear, I adore kids. When I see someone with a baby, I want to hold that baby, poke its cheeks, ask the parent a million questions and make funny faces at the baby. I even worked with kids for many years.
To her, it was the fact that my boyfriend and I had been together for 'so long' (in her words) and still were not 'settled down' and had kids 'by now'. She fervently urged me to hurry up, tie the knot and start making babies. And this isn't the first time a friend or family member has reacted that way to my current life situation. Each time, I smile politely but inwardly I want to scream a big "F*** You! Don't know assume just because I am not mimicking your own life that I don't have plans for mine." especially when they use the term, 'by now'.
I'm twenty seven years old, I am not ancient. I will not lose my ability to have a child or to be eligible for marriage at age thirty. So if you say 'by now', I assume you just mean 'with me' as if you want everyone to be in sync with your life time table.
Additionally in regards to my age; I still feel so much like a kid myself... I don't even know what I want to do for a career. What if I do end up being a stay-at-home mother? I'd go crazy if I didn't have something else in my life to define me.
Not that I have anything against stay-at-home mothers and fathers, its a tough, admirable and unstructured job. I do however get very erked by women who believe their sole purpose in life is to be a mother. A few moms I know, I love them, I sympathize with their driving maternal instincts truly but these women scare me sometimes. What example are we as mothers for our daughters, if we can't teach them by example to live for more then procreation purposes? What example are we as mothers for our sons, if we teach them by our example that the partner that has loves and drives outside of being a parent is not to be trusted or needs to be corrected/changed?
The reason I am happy with taking it easy in regards to 'settling down' is because there are so many things I am (currently and will be in the future) passionate about. I have new expectations and romantic ideals planned for my life developing all the time. Getting married and having kids are certainly on that agenda but there is so much more then that. For starters, wanting my significant other to be just as excited about those things as I am. Its so unbelievably important to me that my S.O. choosing to marry me isn't just out of a socially engrained sense of responsibility. Being polyamorous is another example... I'm still enjoying that addition to my life and a bit hesitant on how kids would even fit into that picture. I want to do something for a living that feels productive and know I am not just being paid to be a present cogs in a poorly maintained machine. Or even trivial things... I want to see fireflies, go skydiving or skinny dip in Bora Bora before I die.
I have also been at the other side of the spectrum. When I was 17, I became pregnant. Before then (as well as after), I wanted to be full-time mom and get married ASAP. I really thought that was my purpose in life. That I was not a true woman without a husband to take care of me and not a complete human being until I had my 2.5 kids. So many events and life changes have altered my point of view drastically and hopefully, for the better.
I can only speak for myself but my previous desire to be a mother and 1950's style wife was more grounded in a lack of self-worth and self-understanding. I had no real goals for my life and my parents were not the worst but certainly not positive examples. My self help, self esteem and social skills were severely lacking making me a very scared and confused adolescent. After grade school, friendships did not last for the long term and usually the bonds that stuck were with males. So the closest thing to a female role model usually ended up being my romantic partners which only confused the situation more. With all of the factors combined, I truly believed I was broken and simply existed as a drain on society.
But I was certain of one thing; I loved kids. I would volunteer to babysit constantly, I loved any teaching opportunities that arose; I was fascinated by children. I often worked with special needs children and provide daycare for the children within our church. That much has never changed. I am a very maternal person by nature, I am constantly mothering my friends (and boyfriends) when they honestly just need a swift kick in the pants. And a lot of people are. Who doesn't like being needed? And maybe, just maybe, if I could be good at being a mother I wouldn't be/feel so useless.
As I said before, many things have happened to drastically alter my perception on well... everything! It wasn't instant and it was by no means painless. And I am reminded of how incredibly thankful I am for the few people in my life who kept with me or helped me start to discover who I really want to be.
All of this is basically boils down to a lost internet plea to all of the mothers in my friend circle, to all of my friends and family who may not have fully thought out there statements before saying them aloud and maybe to myself just a bit. I can't be angry at you when you expect me to live my life according to the socially predominant time table you may (or may not) be living by and I can't fault you when you are confused by my choices. My old self would have been perplexed too. But if you think your situation has made you wiser then I, Stop! Stop putting expectations on me, stop using your own life as a basis of how and when others should lead their own lives.
Most of all, ladies, please please please stop and remember you are a mother, and in many cases wives too; which is beautiful and you deserve to be so damn proud of it! But that is not the only thing you are and it absolutely is not how you should measure your own or anyone else's self-worth.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
A Quick Emotion Stuffed Poly-Related Rant
The deja vu of the scenario I am flirting with at present is alarming yet I have acknowledged the warning signs, made up my mind and told the well meaning warning signs to go for a long walk off a short pier. I know what I want (which feels exhilarating). I admittedly want too much, but I know the difference between what I want and what I expect. I don't expect to get everything I want but probably won't let it stop me from hoping.
I have a partner in crime this time (and I will refer to him as such henceforth). Which.is.awesome. He is one of the warning signs that I have ever so politely ignored but he has been cool (and reckless) enough to plunge head on into this with me so far. And so far... it's been great fun.
The downside is that I am falling for someone that I have fallen for before. ...Which should be warning enough against this whole thing. But the kicker is: They are too dense to get it. They are immature, reckless, prone to self pity, they dwell on the past more then the present and attract drama. Which seems to be some of the emotional qualities I'm so subconsciously attracted to (except for the drama).
Wisely, I know I should use caution. My 'good' angel is kicking me aside the head and screaming at me to put on the brakes, use some of that old fashioned rational I was born with, and be patient. And half of me wants to listen. I don't want another broken heart and above all, don't want to hurt my partner-in-crime's heart.
I could bluntly pursue it and make my intentions known. Although, perhaps with some tact this time. My past attempts at blunt and painfully honest communication have always been just that, painful. But I just want to grab him by his mopey ears and shout out my feelings for him into his stupid face every time we kiss.
Regardless of the final actions and reactions. I am thankful to be in a point in my life, mental state within myself and with someone one so special in my life where I can be... here. At another exciting romantic (and sexual) turning point full of the unknown and just enjoy the ride.
I have a partner in crime this time (and I will refer to him as such henceforth). Which.is.awesome. He is one of the warning signs that I have ever so politely ignored but he has been cool (and reckless) enough to plunge head on into this with me so far. And so far... it's been great fun.
The downside is that I am falling for someone that I have fallen for before. ...Which should be warning enough against this whole thing. But the kicker is: They are too dense to get it. They are immature, reckless, prone to self pity, they dwell on the past more then the present and attract drama. Which seems to be some of the emotional qualities I'm so subconsciously attracted to (except for the drama).
Wisely, I know I should use caution. My 'good' angel is kicking me aside the head and screaming at me to put on the brakes, use some of that old fashioned rational I was born with, and be patient. And half of me wants to listen. I don't want another broken heart and above all, don't want to hurt my partner-in-crime's heart.
I could bluntly pursue it and make my intentions known. Although, perhaps with some tact this time. My past attempts at blunt and painfully honest communication have always been just that, painful. But I just want to grab him by his mopey ears and shout out my feelings for him into his stupid face every time we kiss.
Regardless of the final actions and reactions. I am thankful to be in a point in my life, mental state within myself and with someone one so special in my life where I can be... here. At another exciting romantic (and sexual) turning point full of the unknown and just enjoy the ride.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Hooping, So Far...
Today I reached my first weight goal! *Insert victory dance here.* It was a small one but it still has taken me a few months to reach it. I was also fighting against gaining muscle from Aerial Hammock too which I can't really complain about. But overall, I'm psyched and I truly feel healthier then before.
Most importantly, I have also officially mastered the basics of hula hooping and am even attempting to teach myself some beginner tricks! After reading a lot more about hooping, I purchased yet another hoop. This one from moodhoops.com, a very pretty thick, beginner 40" hoop, that ran me roughly $60 with shipping and I must say... I am even more in love with it then my previous hoop. It's sturdy, quickly disassembled and reassembled and quite fun.
Ironically, the my favorite weighted and sized hoop has been a cheap $10 blinking light-up hoop from Toys-R-Us. Its around 38" and quite light. I use it only occasionally because there is no way to replace the batteries once they die. :( Its been great for tricks and working on flow.
Some of the amusing things hooping has taught me so far:
Instagram has become my inspiration ground. There are so many people (of varying experience levels) who post short videos of their tricks that I can mimic. And so many things you can do with these plastic circles!
I have been slightly struggling against my peers making fun of me for my new fascination with hooping. They see it as childish, which it is; but that shouldn't invalidate it as a hobby and a workout. I love blowing bubbles which is another 'childish' activity but people don't mind that as much. I think my future goal is to be able to hoop and blow bubbles simultaneously while at the beach.
I crave finding someone who will practice with me. I often want to go practice at a park or out in that sun but a lone girl gyrating her hips in public is just asking for harassment. I am also willing to take a hooping class, which is more easy to find but I dread doing in front of others since I seem to be a slow learner when is comes to physical feats.
Ironically, the my favorite weighted and sized hoop has been a cheap $10 blinking light-up hoop from Toys-R-Us. Its around 38" and quite light. I use it only occasionally because there is no way to replace the batteries once they die. :( Its been great for tricks and working on flow.
Some of the amusing things hooping has taught me so far:
- I am crap at taping my hoops;
- Hooping with several hoops at once is way easier then I thought and I can't help but smile when I am obsessively trying to keep them all spinning;
- Better Posture! My center is constantly way off, hooping has been an excellent way of correcting that;
- How to aesthetically move my arms and make sure they stay out of the way;
- Practicing in front of the mirror has really helped me target what areas of my body I need to tone or where correct my posture;
- You can't take what looks easy for granted...
Instagram has become my inspiration ground. There are so many people (of varying experience levels) who post short videos of their tricks that I can mimic. And so many things you can do with these plastic circles!
I have been slightly struggling against my peers making fun of me for my new fascination with hooping. They see it as childish, which it is; but that shouldn't invalidate it as a hobby and a workout. I love blowing bubbles which is another 'childish' activity but people don't mind that as much. I think my future goal is to be able to hoop and blow bubbles simultaneously while at the beach.
I crave finding someone who will practice with me. I often want to go practice at a park or out in that sun but a lone girl gyrating her hips in public is just asking for harassment. I am also willing to take a hooping class, which is more easy to find but I dread doing in front of others since I seem to be a slow learner when is comes to physical feats.
In closing, practice makes perfect and I need A LOT of practice until I can be anywhere near perfect. In the meantime I'm having fun, losing weight and admiring my awesome self in the mirror of course!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
An Educational Piece for the Don Juan's of the Internet
Fact. Too many people on the internet are stupid.
As a girl on a few dating and networking sites within the Internets, I seem to be a magnet for quite a few of them. I mostly get offensive or stupid messages from the boys but trust me the girls are not exempt. Below are some of the delightful gems of faux pas first messages, specifically regarding my open/poly relationship.
The 'Type First, Think Later'...
Internet Suitor: "What's an open relationship? How does it work?"
Internet Suitor: "Hi, how are you?"
Admitting That You 'Suck At This'...
Internet Suitor: "Hi. I suck at the whole dating scene. But I wanted to say hi and that I think you're hot."
Basically Declaring Yourself As A Stalker...
If someone doesn't respond to your first message, there's a 95% chance that they aren't interested. And there is a 100% chance they won't be interested in them if you keep bugging them.
Internet Suitor: "Hello. My name is Blah. Wanna chat?"
I don't reply, X number of days go by, I add a new profile picture.
Internet Suitor: "I love the new picture by the way."
Being Sexist or Down Right Harassing...
Internet Suitor: "Wanna meet up tonight?"
Me: "Sorry, I have plans tonight."
Internet Suitor: "Aw, ditch it."
Me. "Nope."
Internet Suitor: "After?"
Assuming you are on a vanilla dating site (not a site specifically for kink or hook ups), use some tact. Receiving several of these messages in a row gives girls the creeps and you're ruining it for the others who aren't just looking for a quick fix.
The 'Fishing' Messages...
Girls (and Boys), no copy & paste spam. Seriously, I'd love to hear about one circumstance where that tactic actually worked.
Couples are an odd one. Some of the main turn offs about the fishing messages are: 1) the girl is trying to being way too familiar with you right off the bat or 2) they don't refer to themselves as individuals, their relationship comes across as a spliced together Frankenstein.
The 'How-Do-I-Even-Respond-To-That'...
Um... congrats?
We ALL struggle with introductions, especially when we are influenced by our attractions to others. But put a bit of effort into it. If all else fails, put as much thought into your introduction as you would mutually respect someone putting into a first message to you.
As a girl on a few dating and networking sites within the Internets, I seem to be a magnet for quite a few of them. I mostly get offensive or stupid messages from the boys but trust me the girls are not exempt. Below are some of the delightful gems of faux pas first messages, specifically regarding my open/poly relationship.
The 'Type First, Think Later'...
Internet Suitor: "What's an open relationship? How does it work?"- Translation: "Hi, I'm too lazy to use Google. Will you do the work for me and then still feel compelled to date me?"
- Try: "I have no experience with open relationships myself, how does yours work?"
- Translation: "I'm interested in you however I forgot how to have a personality. I have also given a red flag regarding my poor grammar."
Internet Suitor: "Hi, how are you?"- Translation: "Let's trade polite banter without getting anywhere."
- Try: Pinning that line to a brief three sentence introduction of yourself. If you are just putting out a word or two, you're basically hoping they will be attracted to you based on your looks alone. (Girls... I'm looking at you here.) Where as that is very confident of you, it sets my impression of you as dense.
Admitting That You 'Suck At This'...
Internet Suitor: "Hi. I suck at the whole dating scene. But I wanted to say hi and that I think you're hot."
- Translation: "Feel sorry for me and possibly take me on as a Fixer-Upper."
Basically Declaring Yourself As A Stalker...
If someone doesn't respond to your first message, there's a 95% chance that they aren't interested. And there is a 100% chance they won't be interested in them if you keep bugging them.Internet Suitor: "Hello. My name is Blah. Wanna chat?"I don't reply, X number of days go by, I add a new profile picture.
Internet Suitor: "I love the new picture by the way."
- Translation: "I hide the bodies in the basement and keep their eyes in a jewelry box."
- Try: If you don't receive a response to your first message, give it a week and send a polite follow up message. Just like in the job searching market, showing you have a persistent (but polite) interest can be an admirable quality. And what ever you do, try not to mention or hint that you check their profile out often.
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| (Not the best opening line to charm a girl) |
Me: "Sorry, I have plans tonight."
Internet Suitor: "Aw, ditch it."
Me. "Nope."
Internet Suitor: "After?"
- Translation: "I am going to use bar tactics on you via texts while you are sober and see if they still work."
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| (+1 point for honesty perhaps) |
- Try: Asking "Are you interested in a one night stand?" You can be blunt while still employing some tact. Save the dirty talk for the hook up itself.
The 'Fishing' Messages...
 | ||||
| (She sent me this, word for word, 3 weekends in a row) |
Couples are an odd one. Some of the main turn offs about the fishing messages are: 1) the girl is trying to being way too familiar with you right off the bat or 2) they don't refer to themselves as individuals, their relationship comes across as a spliced together Frankenstein.
The 'How-Do-I-Even-Respond-To-That'...
---
We ALL struggle with introductions, especially when we are influenced by our attractions to others. But put a bit of effort into it. If all else fails, put as much thought into your introduction as you would mutually respect someone putting into a first message to you.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
No Gyms For Me Please
I have a real hesitation about gyms. To be honest, I have been to several gyms but never actually made use of one. If its something that I'm paying money for, I want it to be engaging and motivating. My self motivation for using a machine is nil and even more so to interact with the majority of the fellow gym-goers. Below are some of the alternative workout methods I personally have tried and which I'd recommend.
The obvious alternatives:
Hiking
It is my favorite workout. Its refreshing, has unlimited visual stimulus, lots of vitamin D and its free! If you live near Los Feliz like I do, go to Griffith Park. It is great for hiking at any level. There are so many quick beautiful hikes available.
My personal favorite is entering on Commonwealth and taking the right hand fork which skirts the border of Griffith and then cork-screws up to the Griffith Park Helipad. It's a spectacular place to watch a sunset and is a gradual scenic climb for thoughts of use with rebelling knee joints. It's also a very dog and horse friendly hike and has watering spots for both animals half way up the trail.
Price: Free
Indoor Soccer
Its incredibly demanding, fast-paced and borderline violent! Like most sports, you can't let your emotions rule you. This one can be really fun if you're playing with friends (or good teammates) but it's not at all free. Admittedly, I don't think I was ever more fit in my life then I was when I played soccer.
The obvious alternatives:
Hiking
It is my favorite workout. Its refreshing, has unlimited visual stimulus, lots of vitamin D and its free! If you live near Los Feliz like I do, go to Griffith Park. It is great for hiking at any level. There are so many quick beautiful hikes available.
My personal favorite is entering on Commonwealth and taking the right hand fork which skirts the border of Griffith and then cork-screws up to the Griffith Park Helipad. It's a spectacular place to watch a sunset and is a gradual scenic climb for thoughts of use with rebelling knee joints. It's also a very dog and horse friendly hike and has watering spots for both animals half way up the trail.Price: Free
Indoor Soccer
Its incredibly demanding, fast-paced and borderline violent! Like most sports, you can't let your emotions rule you. This one can be really fun if you're playing with friends (or good teammates) but it's not at all free. Admittedly, I don't think I was ever more fit in my life then I was when I played soccer.
Price: Depending on the size of your team, it can vary from $100 - $300 (or more) per person when you rack up the seasonal membership fees, team fees, and required gear.
Not Jogging
Seriously, if you actively jog I salute you. I found it boring, strenuous, people feel the need to say the dumbest things to you (or even just random noises) and its murder on your knees!
Not Jogging
Seriously, if you actively jog I salute you. I found it boring, strenuous, people feel the need to say the dumbest things to you (or even just random noises) and its murder on your knees!
Price: Your knee caps
The less conventional methods:
Hooping
Earlier I mentioned my utter lack of an ability to hula hoop. I have always been fascinated by hula hoop performers. It is something so feminine and graceful, how could I not admire it?
As silly as it may sound... I have started down a path of trying to self-teach myself to hula hoop and (fingers crossed) learn some hooping tricks as well. So far it has been extremely trying and demeaning but also fun.
I can successfully keep the hoop spinning for a short time and incrementally moving towards not looking like a baboon having a spasm whilst doing it. Hooray!
Discoveries so far:
Clearly its a good ab workout and cardio exercise. I can stay focused on it to music more then I normally can with running.
I have played around with taping up normal $5-$10 children's hoops with some success. I like the larger hoops as they spin slowly and gives me ample time to find my rhythm however these are usually made to be quite lightweight. However, this hoop has a marble inside that I just cannot seem to remove and the noise it creates sends people around me into a murderous annoyed rage.
I also have a smaller and heavier hoop which is more difficult to keep momentum going with but it is much less noisy. Its heavier because it is filled with water which gives it a good weight for its smaller size. The downside of that is the air bubbles in the water can actually throw off the rhythm of the spin which obviously is a bit frustrating.
It was actually my boyfriend (who hasn't been my biggest hooping fan) that suggested I buy a proper hoop. So, I did. If you're just reading this boy, there will be an extra hoop over on my side of the living room. Pay no mind...
I bought my new fancy hoop from superhooper.com. This site has been really informative for me as a novice Hooper. It is sanded on the inside for grip and unbelievably light.
The less conventional methods:
Hooping
Earlier I mentioned my utter lack of an ability to hula hoop. I have always been fascinated by hula hoop performers. It is something so feminine and graceful, how could I not admire it?As silly as it may sound... I have started down a path of trying to self-teach myself to hula hoop and (fingers crossed) learn some hooping tricks as well. So far it has been extremely trying and demeaning but also fun.
I can successfully keep the hoop spinning for a short time and incrementally moving towards not looking like a baboon having a spasm whilst doing it. Hooray!
Discoveries so far:
Clearly its a good ab workout and cardio exercise. I can stay focused on it to music more then I normally can with running.
I have played around with taping up normal $5-$10 children's hoops with some success. I like the larger hoops as they spin slowly and gives me ample time to find my rhythm however these are usually made to be quite lightweight. However, this hoop has a marble inside that I just cannot seem to remove and the noise it creates sends people around me into a murderous annoyed rage.
I also have a smaller and heavier hoop which is more difficult to keep momentum going with but it is much less noisy. Its heavier because it is filled with water which gives it a good weight for its smaller size. The downside of that is the air bubbles in the water can actually throw off the rhythm of the spin which obviously is a bit frustrating.
It was actually my boyfriend (who hasn't been my biggest hooping fan) that suggested I buy a proper hoop. So, I did. If you're just reading this boy, there will be an extra hoop over on my side of the living room. Pay no mind...I bought my new fancy hoop from superhooper.com. This site has been really informative for me as a novice Hooper. It is sanded on the inside for grip and unbelievably light.
Price: The hoop ran me around $55, with shipping included.
Update on my review: I have had this hoop only for about 24 hours now and I can definetly say its worth the extra bit of money. It's a polypro hoop, which makes it light as a feather and very flexible. I spent hours after it arrived just listening to music and dancing inside this hoop. Definitely feel graceful and more agile while practicing, I wholeheartedly approve of it.
Cirque Classes
Specifically, Cirque School LA and their 101 class. If you need an overall boot camp for strength training, this is your class. The instructors will push you hard and keep you running on humor.
Update on my review: I have had this hoop only for about 24 hours now and I can definetly say its worth the extra bit of money. It's a polypro hoop, which makes it light as a feather and very flexible. I spent hours after it arrived just listening to music and dancing inside this hoop. Definitely feel graceful and more agile while practicing, I wholeheartedly approve of it.
Cirque ClassesSpecifically, Cirque School LA and their 101 class. If you need an overall boot camp for strength training, this is your class. The instructors will push you hard and keep you running on humor.
Price: $25/class or $120/6 classes, there are occasionally online coupons and discounts as well.
They mainly focus on aerial tissue and trapeze. Like I said before, this will give you the best post workout burn you've ever had. I bruised behind my knees something fierce and most people that take the trapeze seriously develop some severely calloused hands. But there are results there for those dedicated enough to seek them.
Aerial Hammock/Yoga
I've been gradually improving in aerial hammock for the past year and definitely have to give a huge shout out to UP Flying Yoga for being all around awesome. I have discovered new strengths and patience there that I never thought I would ever have.
These classes center on core strength and focused strengths. It also taught me that I have no ab strength AT ALL and that I adore hanging upside down!
Price: If you want to try it once, a single class costs $25. Although I highly recommend purchasing the GroupOn which allows you to buy 4 classes for $45 (that's $11.25/class). Monthly memberships are also available.
Most people have trouble with going upside down, if you take this class... be excited and prepared to go upside down! Another struggle is the bruising (if you're in a more advanced class), the fabric gathers in focused spots that are holding all of your body weight and I bruise easily.
You may not have as good of a workout burn after this class but you will feel more refreshingly stretched out then you ever have before.
On The Mat Yoga/Pilates
They mainly focus on aerial tissue and trapeze. Like I said before, this will give you the best post workout burn you've ever had. I bruised behind my knees something fierce and most people that take the trapeze seriously develop some severely calloused hands. But there are results there for those dedicated enough to seek them.
Aerial Hammock/YogaI've been gradually improving in aerial hammock for the past year and definitely have to give a huge shout out to UP Flying Yoga for being all around awesome. I have discovered new strengths and patience there that I never thought I would ever have.
These classes center on core strength and focused strengths. It also taught me that I have no ab strength AT ALL and that I adore hanging upside down!
Price: If you want to try it once, a single class costs $25. Although I highly recommend purchasing the GroupOn which allows you to buy 4 classes for $45 (that's $11.25/class). Monthly memberships are also available.
Most people have trouble with going upside down, if you take this class... be excited and prepared to go upside down! Another struggle is the bruising (if you're in a more advanced class), the fabric gathers in focused spots that are holding all of your body weight and I bruise easily.
You may not have as good of a workout burn after this class but you will feel more refreshingly stretched out then you ever have before.
On The Mat Yoga/Pilates
I try to do this often, it's a good reinforcement to any workout routein, plus it's very easy to accommodate at home. If you own a Android or Apple device and want a simple in-home instructor, I would strongly recommend anything by Daily Workout Apps, LLC. I've used this product almost daily for years.
Price: It costs .99/App or roughly $4 for all of them together.
The apps provided can vary from relaxing yoga to specific and toning Pilates workouts, the execution of the form is visually explained through a gif image, it has a pleasing female voice to talk you through the moves, you can select your targeted muscles to work on, they integrate in accessories like Physio balls and weights and even let you develope your own routine or time intervals.
Its a bit like having a personal trainer without a gym membership. It really helps me stay on track when I am sleepily starting out the morning, feeling distracted or even on vacation.
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